Everyone has their own red flags to look out for when online dating.
Anderson and Washington both recommend staying away from matches who only want to be your penpal. Anyone who has spent time on a dating app can relate to the experience of talking to someone for weeks, without ever going out on a date.
“If you sense they’re avoiding a date, they’re not the one,” Anderson emphasizes.
Per Washington, another potential red flag is someone who uses their profile to express the things they don’t want.
“This can be an indication that they dated someone with those attributes, and haven’t healed from that yet,” she explains. “It can also mean they’re not clear about the things that they do want.”
Scott says some people tend to jump to red flags too quickly. “Aside from some people being openly unkind, nasty, or hostile, dating is a lot about asking yourself how someone is making you feel,” she says. “If someone makes you feel lonely or anxious, that’s an opportunity to ask yourself if that’s a reflection of yourself, or of that person.”
Scott adds that oftentimes there can be a temptation to make how you’re feeling about the other person. Instead, she suggests using your feelings as an opportunity to look inward and reflect about your needs.