The American football wide receiver for the New England Patriots, Kayshon Boutte, has penned an emotional essay as he recalls his gambling addiction in the hope it helps someone else going through the same thing.
Titled ‘How the hell did I get here?’, the essay begins by explaining that at 20 when he had a full ride scholarship at LSU and his future ahead of him, he would start his days by betting.
“I’d stay up late and bet. All day. All night. I had insomnia, so if I woke up in the middle of the night, phone next to the bed, I’d bet. Any little money I had, it was going straight to FanDuel.”
I’m sharing my story with @PlayersTribune in the hopes it helps someone else going through the same thinghttps://t.co/p2qENUAOUf
— Kayshon Boutte (@KayshonBoutte1) January 7, 2026
He explained how he knew he was addicted, stating how he would be in his own world on his phone: “Laying in bed, in the dark, in pain, with the light glowing on my face. It was a lonely experience. Like you in an empty casino, alone at the blackjack table.
“Adding more money to the account, and more money, and more money, with the press of a couple buttons. You lose touch with reality. It gets to a point where it feels like the money ain’t even real. But it is real, because in the real world, I was living paycheck to paycheck. Waiting on NIL checks to clear.”
Kayshon Boutte says he was living paycheck to paycheck in gambling essay
The athlete said he put a huge $90,000 of his own money into gambling and lost it all, with an ankle injury then leading him into depression. When he felt like he had lost his identity, through no longer being able to play football while injured, he turned to gambling.
“That’s how I ended up going down a dark road. That’s how I ended up pacing around my apartment at 3 o’clock in the morning, betting on whatever I could bet on at that time of night. I don’t even know….. It honestly didn’t matter. You’re just caught in the cycle.”
Two things are said to have saved the man: one was being able to play football again, and the other was becoming a father as a junior in college. He says he owes the Patriots organization everything, while stating they stuck by him even though they could have simply walked away.
In a bid to help those who are currently struggling, Boutte ended with: “So if I have a message for the football world, I guess it’s this: Don’t give up on these kids, man. I know there’s more stories like mine out there. Betting is just gonna keep getting bigger and bigger. Gambling is what it is. I’m not here to preach. It’s going to exist. But people who are in a dark place, they’re gonna use it to escape. Athletes, especially. I’m telling you, because I lived it.”
Speaking at a New England Patriots conference after publication, Boutte added: “Yeah, it was hard to admit I needed help. When you’re addicted to something, no matter how much you know you need help, you still tend to go back to the same thing.
“I sent it two weeks ago and had time to go back and look at it. It feels good to get everything out. A couple people told me it was a good opinion. I heard it a little bit around the building. I think it was pretty cool.”
Many have taken to social media to leave words of thanks and to express for the player, following the X post sharing the article receiving almost 800,000 views.
Featured Image: Credit to New England Patriots via YouTube / Canva
