If you’re being breadcrumbed, the best thing to do is to stop engaging with the person and the crumbs they’re leaving behind. As Nuñez suggests, have an open and honest conversation with them about what you’re looking for, “And if they’re not looking for that, move on—just don’t respond to the DMS or the memes or the likes or the comments.”
Easier said than done, of course, because by broaching the conversation, you’re risking rejection. But ask yourself if you really want what this person is giving you. Do you really want to be treated this way? Is this the kind of loving relationship you’re looking for? “Because if this is what you’re setting up, then this person is always going to treat you like this,” Nuñez says.
Plus, there are far worse things than being rejecting, and to that end, falling victim to breadcrumbing requires a look inward. Feeling like you need the love and affection of an emotionally unavailable person is a glaring sign of limerence at best—and low self-esteem at worst. If someone is leaving you feeling bad about yourself for wanting a relationship, they’re not the one. It’s really that simple.
“It’s okay to want something serious, so it’s really about admitting to yourself that this isn’t the type of relationship that you want and this isn’t what you deserve,” Nuñez tells mindbodygreen, adding, “It’s understanding your self worth and what you really want.”
If you’re wondering how to actually break off the breadcrumbs, you might say something like, “It seems like we have different dating priorities right now and I’m not interested in what you’re looking for.”
And in order to avoid getting breadcrumbed going forward, remember that healthy relationships don’t require guesswork or confusion. According to Nuñez, “If somebody is really interested in you, you’re not going to have to guess. You’ll absolutely know.”
